


Hold Her

by great-pan-is-dead (TheCrimsonDream)



Series: Parting of the Ways [2]
Category: Vampire Chronicles - All Media Types, Vampire Chronicles - Anne Rice
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 21:47:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7591615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCrimsonDream/pseuds/great-pan-is-dead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Conflict comes between Louis and Claudia as she tries to convince him to break ties with Lestat so they can leave together, but they have trouble understanding the struggle each other are going through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Her

**Author's Note:**

> Louis POV  
> IWTV era  
> Present tense, ended up a bit internal monologue-ish?

  At the piano, but playing something clanging and modern, a piece of melodrama that the music halls all play now, offending ears from gentile tastes. Her eyes are hard as her little hands prise out the notes. _Come nearer_ Claudia seems to say as she plays softer as to see me in the doorway. I come towards the piano but it’s careful.

  “Lestat isn’t here, this time.” She stops so abruptly. “We can talk.”  How can something so cold be so beautiful? But we are alone, and she knows what she is doing. Less of a rivalry than a secrecy. She holds her ground, closes the lid over the piano, but she stares at me until I have to look away. Can one as small as her carry such a complex storm of emotion, can she bear it? Her eyes swim and I drown in them.   
  “Why do you still see him? It shames me and it alienates me, why do you still see him?” Startling anger- it never seems to cease, now.  
  “I know you whisper near morning, you’ll disappear with him, when you return home together your eyes look different. What does he do to earn these things, my love? You must tell me for it is out of knowledge!” Suddenly, her face comes to some conclusion, some theory. So sure she must be right. Hopes she is right.  
  “Do you drink from him? The way he made you, the way he made me, is that what you do? I don’t understand it, I know I don’t!”

  “ **No.** ” It’s so dry when I speak it I barely feel the words.  “ _No_ , never.” Why does she think-? “Enough. You do not know these things because you do not understand them, and it is not for you to understand.”

  “Will you argue with me? Shout as you do to him, shall we scream bitter things at each other until you are begging at me for peace between us! What does he do when you come crying to him, Louis? Does he hold you? Will you hold me?”

  Running at me, I fear in rage. To beat her small arms at me, shake me until I'll speak what she wishes. But no, throws herself around me, muffled sobbing curls in my arms. Make to comfort her, for what can I do? I cannot do more to further condemn her to a child’s understanding when all her small form cannot bear more, surely. She grieves but I cannot grieve for her. Is she strong? Hold strength for her.

  “This ends. Whatever this is it ends. Now.” Stern, but soft. _Oh:_ but him.

  “He has no need to know.” She can tell my mind- a threat? A warning. As though I could ever tell him; no words will tell what he already knows. Here, a child we raised in a hell masked as heaven, two devils and their justification to prosper. We were no better with what she has become. Kneeling down to her height, say it to her eyes.

  “You and he are not the same. You cannot ever be. You would not wish to be.” Against her hair, her hair that is near the same. Look at her.  
  “For you are all the light in me, and he is the dark.” Kiss her with words, soothe her soul.

  “You cannot expect me to believe that, and I will not.” Defiance. Lies? But he shines so brilliantly, if he is the dark. Glows like an angel, but she glows like the sun.

  “You must, or you will not be able to bear it.” _Please, understand. Ask of me no more than this._

  “You know the solution, of course. You _throw away the worser part of it._ ”

  “... How can I, love? How do I?”

_Tell me. Tell me how. Did I once know? I’m sure I did. And he drowned it out, he made me forget._

  “I had been wrong; you have nothing that binds you. It is simpler for you.”

  “No, nothing is that simple.” We never let her understand anything, _why did we never let her understand?_

  “Think of it, Louis. Are there truly that many ties to cut? I do not think so. You have far less with him than you think you do. He has no way to keep you.” Small arms cradle my head to her, and she smells of the kill- of those she has killed- makes motions of comfort.  _"Will you not let me be what you need of him?"_ It's a whisper, with something intimate to it, it chills me.   
  In ways, is she stronger than I? She who is casting off a father and fury, teacher and tormentor. _If so, do I need him in order to be strong?_

  “One day you may learn there are things in ourselves we do not know, _chérie,_  and simple things are not so .. . How long do I have? How long will you give me?”  
_Do not walk away,_ as she walks away. _Answer me, and do not leave me with my thoughts._ But she has her own! Her own world of suffering locked up so small, and she will not let me touch it.  
  Spite it all, is she not right? How little resource he is left, when there is no more he will give, no more he will barter. 

  But the poison tastes like wine, and wine has a way of warming the blood.


End file.
